Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
