i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
