Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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