i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
