Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Randomize
