Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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