I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
