Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
