Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize