hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
