Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i barfeds in our rink
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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