he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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