Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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