Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize