thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
