I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
