the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
