At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
