So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
