Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize