so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
