What a fucking waste of an outfit
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
