You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
