Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize