Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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