I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
