I could make wine with my vomit
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
