sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
