I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
