Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
