Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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