Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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