Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
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