I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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