I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
