i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We got so high we made milksteak
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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