Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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