i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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