haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
they need to just BURY HIM!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
