Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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