Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
