Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
