my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
