bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I would ride that face into the sunset
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
