Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize