After last night, I could never be a politician.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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