chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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