id be glad to
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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