Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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