So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
