if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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