maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
