weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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