You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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