Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
