omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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