glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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