Pappa wants mamma naked
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
