May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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