Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
