I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize