I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
