I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
